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Non-monogamous people are just as happy in their love lives as those with only one partner but are not “significantly” more sexually satisfied than traditional couples, research suggests.
Polyamory, open relationships and swinging are among the many forms of consensual non-monogamy. Polyamory has become increasingly mainstream, with a recent poll showing that one in 25 Britons have experienced it. A further one in 14 said they would be open to exploring it.
And the authors of a new study said their findings challenged what they called a prevailing “one-size-fits-all approach to relationships”, showing that contentment is not inextricably linked to monogamy.
Nicola Davis, en The Guardian (enlace)
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I am a thirtysomething woman and have been with my partner for six years– we’ve been married for about half that time. In many ways, we have a wonderful marriage: she is my best friend as well as my wife. The issue is our sex life. She has a very low sex drive, whereas mine is high. She won’t ever instigate sex, due to past trauma, and I can no longer tolerate always being the one doing the chasing. As a result, our sex life is pretty dead in the water. I do not want to end our marriage, but I want to be desired. We have tried to talk about this, but nothing ever really changes and I am now at the point where I have become less and less attracted to her sexually and we’ve both stopped trying. Last year, I developed an infatuation with someone at work. It lasted for a year and I spent a lot of time imagining what it would be like to be with her. It has died down only because I have distanced myself from her. But it made me realise how much I want to have sex with someone else. I have no idea how to go about telling my wife that I want to stay married, but sleep with other people – yet I don’t think I could live with the guilt if I had a secret affair.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly
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Al final va a resultar que El País va a salir de su enroque y va a aceptar en su libro de estilo «ucraniano» en vez de «ucranio».
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The Guardian (enlace): «After I have sex with my partner, I immediately start crying. I don’t even get to think twice before tears come out of my eyes. I would like to understand why. I don’t necessarily feel sad, I just feel so many things – I can’t really explain it.»
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El Guardian ha publicado 19 consejos para para tener relaciones de cualquier tipo más sanas.
Avoid fighting over who is right or wrong “I’ve been doing this for almost 40 years,” says Marshall, “and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to people having an ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ argument”. Nobody has ever solved anything this way, he says. “All that happens is somebody will throw something else in, or they’ll find an example of the one time the other person was wrong. And we just go round and round in circles. However much you believe that your views are right, your partner believes just as much that their beliefs are right, too. You need to understand the position of each other better; then you can both soften and a third way will emerge. ‘I’m right, you’re wrong’ battles destroy relationships.”
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Los crucigramas, considerados con frecuencia un simple pasatiempo, va y resulta que son buenos para combatir el deterioro cognitivo, especialmente en personas mayores. Aunque muchos lo consideran todavía distracción inane, pero durante la Segunda Guerra Mundial, cuando se utilizaban para entrenar a los y las especialistas en descifrar códigos, empezó a cambiar la opinión que teníamos de este entretenimiento. Algunos estudios, como el de Davangere P. Devanand, han demostrado que los crucigramas mejoran la función cognitiva, superando incluso a juegos diseñados específicamente para este propósito. Además, quienes los practican muestran un deterioro menor de los tejidos cerebrales y consiguen mantener una mejor calidad de vida durante más tiempo.
Enlace al artículo en El País.
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It was November 1970 and Northern Ireland was sliding into the Troubles, but for Gerard Gorman, a new pupil at St Colman’s College, the horror of that era began when Fr Malachy Finegan summoned him into a room, closed the door and told him to sit on a sofa. Gorman was 11 years old and small for his age, with big blue eyes. Two months earlier, he had started as a boarder at the Catholic boys’ school in Newry, County Armagh. Staff tended to be aloof or intimidating, except Finegan, the religious education teacher, who was solicitous and avuncular. More than half a century later, Gorman can still picture the scene on that autumn day. He had been with other boys, running to the dormitory, when Finegan beckoned him from a doorway into his sitting room. It overlooked playing fields and had a TV and a bag of sweets on a table. The priest sat beside the boy. He was a big man with huge ears that had earned him the nickname Floppy. There was a bit of chitchat, then he leaned in. “His whole face was sort of wrapping around me and just blotting out everything else,” Gorman recalls. “I had shorts on and he put his hands on to my penis.”Esto es lo que escribe Rory Caroll en The Guardian. Un testimonio terrible del daño que puede llegar a generar el abuso sexual durante la infancia. Cuando, además, estamos hablando de hombres que van por la vida dando lecciones sobre lo que los demás tenemos que hacer, sobre qué significa ser buena persona y sobre la magnificencia de Dios son especialmente terroríficos.
Me cuesta mucho pensar en la reinserción en estos casos. me cuesta muchísimo.
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I was pregnant, and getting ready for our son’s second birthday when the phone rang and everything changed in an instant. My husband had collapsed during a half marathon. How would I ever keep going? [...] My husband never woke up. I waited all night, as his family and mine arrived, their faces ashen. The following day he was pronounced dead. Puk Qvortrup.Enlace al artículo de The Guardian.
